Annual Snarky F1 Post

Frar, eh?Chris Horner of Red Bull picks Jenson Button as their biggest threat .  This is called “messing around inside Lewis Hamilton’s head.”  I am getting the impression that there might be room in there to do that.  I really miss Schumi being on top of his game and psyching people out.  There just doesn’t seem to be a driver on the grid with that combination of clever and cruel, and maybe never will be again.

 

 

Regardless, this will be an interesting year in F1.  For those of you who looked away, here is the quick update on what’s going on, based on the news on F1 sites:

  • Some teams have some trick aerodynamic thing that might be within the rules. Or it might not. All the teams that didn’t think of this idea say it’s illegal. At some point, a decision will be made.
  • Bernie Ecclestone has said that some races are in danger of being cancelled, and that the race in Bahrain is going ahead. This means that the race in Bahrain is not going ahead, and those other races better get ahold of several truckloads of money and give it to Bernie.
  • Williams has been picked as this year’s team with enough money to afford all the stuff Bruno Senna will break.  Bruno says that he is only signed to a single year contract, assumedly because there is only so much carbon fibre in the world.
  • Every single driver is driving better and is more fit than they have ever been, and feels that this is the year that they will really make an impact.
  • Half of the cars are a bold, risky new design, and the other half are a real departure and different in almost every way from last year’s car.
  • Somebody famous for doing something completely unrelated has revealed to an F1 reporter that he has always in fact been a fan of F1 and is looking forward to the season.
  • Max Mosely is still being a dick, and Bernie thinks that Max would be good as the head of the FIA again. Birds of a feather…
  • Renault is now Lotus.
  • Lotus is now Caterham.
  • Colin Chapman is still dead, so no-one but a bunch of lawyers REALLY cares which team is called “Lotus.”
  • Everyone thinks most of the new cars are ugly.

Actual F1 news that’s different this year:

  • Kimi is back and racing for Lotus.
  • Lotus might not suck.
  • Ferrari might suck. Or they might be saying that they suck in order to be tricky.  Alonso has not opening whined about the car, so you never know.
  • McLaren is probably really good.
  • Red Bull is probably really good.
  • Mercedes might be really good.  They seem quiet. Almost TOO quiet…
  • Mark Weber did NOT injure himself in the off-season doing some insanely macho thing.  This is very unusual.
  • Lewis is back with Nicole!  This is important, because it means there is a good chance that he will be mental again this year, and also we might get to see Nicole!  Squeee!
  • Plus, Max being a dick means that we might see Jean Todt at more races, which means we might see Michelle Yeoh!  DOUBLE SQUEEE!
  • No team with a budget wanted to keep Rubens Barrichello, which confirms that they are all bastards.  He’s gone off to hang out with his friends in the deathtraps of open-wheel racing in North America, which makes me sad.

Oh yeah–there is apparently still some form of open-wheel racing in NA.  Who knew?

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