Please speak directly into the netdud

People selling SEO please read this first: Look at this link.  Do it right now.  ZOMG I am so stoked with those search results already, so don't bother sending me a message telling me that you can O my SE.  You have nothing I need, and I kind of think you're an idiot anyway.

Everyone else: You are obviously here because you are excellent in all respects. I would love to hear from you.  I am sorry that you had to go through that unpleasantness aimed at the SEO types, but they just don't seem to listen and ruin it for all the nice folks.