What is netdud?

  • netdud is what happens when you write the best song ever on a sheet of paper, flip it over, write a Dear John letter to someone you love so much that you know they’ll be better off without you, then throw the paper in the sink and let the water run over it until all the ink washes away, let it dry, and use it for a shopping list.You want like crazy for the first item to be razor blades, but you write down bacon instead, because it should take a long time–but not too long–and you might as well enjoy it.
  • netdud is not generally a fan.
  • netdud is what awesome looks like when its trying to impress someone.
  • netdud has been known to put cheese ahead of his own well-being.
  • netdud does not trust anyone who has a beard and no mustache, and only about 30% of people who have a mustache and no beard.
  • netdud is adorable, comforting, and painful–like a cute little plush monkey filled with bees.
  • netdud is the living embodiment of the question “How mad can you even get at a sea turtle?”
  • netdud is, metaphorically, insufficiently plinthed.
  • netdud is light on groceries, and heavy on damaging liquids.
  • netdud is the ratchet-jawed wonder of the age!
  • netdud has a rippling upper body. After he stops moving for a minute or so though, it kind of settles out.
  • netdud is the exacting master of extremely precise half-assed bodgy hacks.
  • netdud knows exactly what he is saying. Every single funny thing is on purpose. Also, the balding is intentional. It’s ironic.
  • netdud can, in specific situations, control your mind.
  • netdud rocks in all directions! And on, and out and well, if you can think of a preposition, he will find a way to rock in a manner that encorporates that preposition!
  • netdud is the Diane Jones-Konihowski of luncheon meats.
  • netdud is not easily fooled, but very easily foolish.
  • netdud is made from the same healthy ingredients you’ll find in nuts, bananas, avocadoes, cars, the ocean, galvanised buckets, a grease trap, chum, corpses, egg shells and on all the surfaces that you disinfect. And so are you. HAVE A NICE DAY!
  • netdud is just lovely.
  • netdud is Super Lord-High Lucky Dragon King Boss of Ba-Bla Bla-Bla.
  • netdud is a generous slab of rich, chewy self-obsession wrapped is a silky coating of random nattering. Also, nuts.
  • netdud has the BFI of a major-league pitcher, the upper-body strength of a placekicker, the artistic soul of a sysadmin, the fashion sense of radio news producer, the mentality of a cartoon 8 year-old and the intellectual rigour of a talk-show host.
  • netdud is a constant source of amusement, whether or not that was the plan.
  • netdud is what happens when you combine an orbital sander, “Hard to Kill,” a large coke Slurpee, 5oz of Jim Beam, a pdf of the manual, Michael Angelo of Nitro, coffee, the OED, Al Leong, Lamy black ink, lard, a bottle of peacock Quink, coffee, Suzy Quatro, that fancy smoked bacon with pepper on it, iFart (in DK mode), Trivial Pursuit, coffee, Ambien, Spike Milligan, and coffee and THEN THE WHOLE EXPERIMENT GOES HORRIBLY WRONG.
  • netdud is part of a full line of lifestyle meats specially designed for today’s power-hungry applications and cloud-based service model.
  • netdud clings desperately to the belief that he is the sole subject of a clinical study on pathei mathos.
  • netdud is fulla braining muskles.
  • netdud does not want a diamond ring–netdud  wants that gd mockingbird to do its gd job!
  • netdud is always pretty sure that tuna salad was OK.
  • netdud absorbs up to three times its weight in potato salad, and cleans up with just a quick rinse.
  • netdud would argue that nobody wins in a rock and roll pants fight.

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