Excerpt from “The Future and History of netdud”

Don’t leave home without them

” Once again, netdud found himself transported back in time.  This time it was the medieval times or whatever.  People were all like, “Yo dawg, you’re a demon and stuff!” and one really big knight guy rushed at him, pulling his halberd from its sheath and brandishing it all menacingly and looking really tough.

netdud  pointed at the sky and said “Holy crap dude, is that a biplane?”

The knight dude was all like “I’m not falling for that!  Planes haven’t even been invented, so I don’t know what they are!”  But while he was talking, netdud punched him really super hard and knocked him out.

“People of Medievalia!  I am from the future and you should make me your king!  Because BEHOLD!” netdud bellowed, and from inside his coat took out a bag of hotdog buns.

“Notice how the buns are all still connected, yet they are all sliced!  EVEN THE ONES IN THE MIDDLE!”

“That’s freaking neat! ”  The peasants all yelled “But that still doesn’t make you not a demon!”

“No, I’m a nice guy!”  said netdud “Here!  Watch!”

And with that, he grabbed a passing minstrel’s lute and played “Eruption”  perfectly, note-for-note, including the kinda screw-up stumbly thing in the tapping part.

“You’re right–you’re awesome!” everyone yelled and made netdud the king.

netdud thought to himself “Man, all those people who made fun of me for learning how to be a wicked lute player and always carrying a bag of hotdog buns can suck it!”


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